THESE DAYS

THESE DAYS

I was thinking about writing you something. It was hard to come up with the right words to say, but ok, here we go…

I was talking to my friend Jack just the other day…we were talking about you. Now I know you moved onto someone new. He told me everything. You’ve got a new home; you’ve got a new family now. Well. I hope life is beautiful now. I hope life is better for you. Honestly, I really do. But I wanted to let you know that you were the light for me to find my truth. I was lost I didn’t really know who I was. Now, I just want to say, thank you!

I believe you can still remember that I said I was leaving to find my soul, I told you I had to go. Sorry! I know it isn’t pretty when our hearts get broke. I’m feeling bad now and I am too young to feel this old. It was hard to be there watching us both turn cold. But I hope someday we'll sit down together and laugh with each other about these days. And then all our troubles we'll lay to rest and we'll wish we could come back to these days, to those good old days.

After we went on our separate ways I had three years of ups and downs and there is nothing to show for it now. I didn’t do anything good. It was just a waste of time. I know it isn’t pretty when we get tired, when the fire burns out.

I remember you calling me when was drunk, you were there reminding me of what I've done wrong. I know it isn’t pretty when you're trying to move on. And you did. You did what was best for you. The cigarettes in the ash tray make me be here reminiscing on those past days. I thought you’d end up with my last name. I really thought we would go down the aisle someday.  But that all changed and it was all my fault.

I travelled all around the world thinking… where is she living at now?
I heard you moved to Oxford and got an apartment and settled down. Every once in a while I started texting. I wrote a paragraph but then I deleted the message.

I believe I will be better off thinking about you like a past time. I could cry you a river and get you baptised. That would not change anything, would it?
I wasn't ready to act right. I used to always think I'd get you back. I was wrong.
People say nothing lasts forever, they say that things fall apart. Yes, they really do. Remember we had plans? We used to say we were going to move to Brooklyn, you were going to study Art. Shit! Just plans… I think I learned a lesson. Love is just a tool to remind us who we are and that we are not alone when we're walking in the dark.